Taking Off The Mask
You don’t need to feel attacked, I don’t think you are a liar. I just think that there are aspects of your life that are hidden from your husband.
We all have a shell of some sort.
There is a version of yourself that you share with others. Whether you want to admit it or not, there is a mask you don when interacting with strangers, friends, family and your husband. This mask might be a frown, a smile, parting with money you don’t really have or a hug.
There should be no masks in marriage.
I remember when my husband and I started dating; I always was on my best behaviour. It wasn’t because I was trying to be hypocritical but it was just that I didn’t know him enough. As the relationship progressed, more masks were removed but not all.
Marriage, is the place where all masks should come off. The Bible tells us that “the man and his wife were naked and they were not ashamed”.
The day you said “I do”, you gave all of who you are to your spouse and vice-versa. You promised to love him through all the seasons of your life and his.
Just think about this, you are going to spend the rest of your life with this man; do you think hiding who you are is the best course of action?
This is where vulnerability, hope and trust comes in.
What if he sees who you are and turns away from you? That is a valid concern, but we are children of God and our approach to life is different. We are not meant to handle our lives alone, we have the Holy Spirit.
Lies have no place in a godly marriage; and when I say lies, I mean the stuff the devil, social media have been whispering in your ears.
Let me share with you a few things to do to grow in honesty;
● Accept that God loves you. What does this have to do with anything you might say. Well, there is always an element of risk when we choose to be vulnerable, a lot of what-if scenarios play through our minds but the love of God is strong enough to cast out all fears; and even if (God forbid) being vulnerable leads down dark roads, the love of God is light for you.
● Understand that honesty is a weapon against guilt and shame. Wikipedia defines shame as an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of self, withdrawal motivations etc. One of the reasons people hide who they are is because of shame; you look at who you are and you hide. The blood of Jesus has removed anything resembling shame and you must enforce that over your life.
● Your husband is your life partner. You are in this life together till death and you are a team. The more you know about each other, the more you win together in life.
Honesty and vulnerability will help you and your spouse stand together as one, and whatever life throws at you, you are a united front that will put the enemy to flight.