Peek a Boo…. I see Joy
Some days seem really bleak, nothing seems to add up. Bills are unpaid, debts are piling up, bosses are going down so hard on you, your spouse does not seem to understand you, your dreams just don’t ever seem to see the light of day; in short, if you could describe life in one statement, you would simply say LIFE IS HARD.
When such seasons come, the days seem unduly long and the night does not give the comfort and rest it should. Everything seems thick and overwhelming, almost unbearable and you just can’t seem to see a way out, because you are so blinded by the weight of your predicament.
This was my situation a short while back. I was weighed down by a lot of unanswered questions, pressures and ultimatums staring me in the face. The thoughts and questions did not seem to be good enough to be shared in a conversation between any friend or sister or comrade; I couldn’t discuss with anyone. I knew it was a phase, but I could not shrug off how I felt about the whole scenario. I thought it best to carry this to God but could not seem to find strength to approach the mercy seat. I struggled to pray about my worries or cast my cares on God, so, I bent under the weight of my pains.
Deep down within me, I knew that God held my answers; I knew that I could trust Him to lift my burdens and set me entirely free. But the challenge remained that I had no strength to pray or call on him; I was practically gasping for breath, spiritually.
One day, after feeling so downcast at work, I realized I could not hold it together much longer. I decided I had to leave the office and find some respite for my soul in solitude. I left the office and headed straight home, knowing that the house would be quiet at that time of the day. I got home and locked myself up in the room. I still didn’t have strength to pray out loud, but I invited God into my thoughts and practically prayed in my mind. I asked for strength to pull through, gisted God afresh of all that was bothering me and laid it all bare with refreshing music playing in the background
Nothing really changed immediately, but I felt safe and somewhat understood. I glanced around the room as I lay on the bed and allowed my thoughts to stray. As I glanced around the room, my eyes rested on the window blinds in the room, and all I saw was how dusty it was. I was agitated, how did so much dust settle on the blinds in a room that I sleep in. I was beginning to get worked up; ready to add it to my list of worries again, then I drew closer to the blinds to examine it.
The window blinds were dusty indeed but right there in the dust on the window blinds lay the fingerprints of my two year old daughter. I saw her five fingers, boldly imprinted on the dusty blinds and my mouth curved into a smile; I had just seen the cutest thing ever, in the midst of my agitation. My Spirit soared to the highest heavens and like a veil, darkness and gloominess was lifted. My focus shifted from whatever my worries had previously been, to the precious gift that my daughter is. I imagined the extreme play that she was involved in that led her to leave her fingerprints on the window blinds. My heart welled up in thanksgiving for her life and all the joy that she has brought in so far.
Something had shifted within me; the fingerprints led me to a place of gratitude in my heart. My gaze moved from everything that was not working to the precious gifts I had received freely from the Father. As I flowed forth with thanksgiving from my heart to God, Joy welled up on my inside and I was immediately fortified with strength; I gained perspective, and everything that seemed larger than life lost its power over me and faded away.
As you go through those days that seem too dark for you to handle, I pray you find the key that unlocks the joy that will strengthen you through that phase.
May you find fingerprints in the dust, and may your eyes recognize same.
Sometimes, joy is hidden in the haze of confusing situations, resolve to find it regardless of how you feel.
Writer : Funmi Owo